Before we got started, it might be helpful to have some perspective of what I’m going into this with. Herewith is everything I know about Lost from the ten minutes or so that I’ve seen, plus stuff I’ve overheard both in person and through various web outlets:
- Hurley, the fat one, he dies. Or at least goes crazy? I know there’s something with a cliff. Speaking of which, I also know Hurley stays fat despite being on a deserted island. WHICH IS SUSPECT.
- Michelle Rodriguez dies, I think. And she’s not part of the original group in the first part of the show and is part of this group called The Others, a designation that makes me want to punch someone. I think, though, that it turns out that group is from the original plane and there’s actually an entire set of real Others who like live on the island? In suburban single family communities? This I’m not so clear about.
- Some chick gives birth to a baby. She may or may not die.
- There is a love triangle. I could’ve just guessed that one. There’s always a love triangle. In every show. In the history of time.
- The nondescript brunette and the hobbit are in love in real life. Or were, at least. I believe the hobbit dies.
- Something is called the Dharma Project and has a sort of quasi-techno-Buddhist logo that people like to print out and put over beer bottles because THEY LIKE TO PRETEND THE ARE IN LOST.
- Something with a hatch. And an evil guy. Or two evil guys? But the newest evil guy who I will probably never get to during this project is like really evil and scary looking. He has not died yet. Because I saw him in an ad for the upcoming sixth season.
- The main character is played by Matthew Fox from Party of Five. Note: I only discovered this fact three months ago. He has not died yet because he is the pretty star of the show.
- This is more my own hang-up, but no tampons? Are there at least Dharma Project tampons?
- There are flashbacks. Some people have fucked up lives. They might be chosen to be there.
- Smoke monster.
I also know Lost developed a very big online community, including something called a Lostpedia. This is something I can’t necessarily rag on, as I find the best part about shows is the online commentary that appears afterwards. The difference with Lost, though, is that the shows I tend to watch lend themselves to lots of snarky recaps and hilarious GIFs . Lost, on the other hand, has reached levels of analysis normally reserved for literature or the evolution of depth in paintings during the Renaissance. Part of me hates Lost for this reason but I have a feeling I will find this community useful for when I inevitably try to write about season 3 and I still only know about 1/4 of the casts actual character names.
So before I sat down and really decided to watch as much of Lost as possible, I downloaded the first episode to watch at the gym during my run this evening. My bullet-pointed take on my first full episode of Lost:
- Actually before I begin I should note that this was all viewed on an iPhone at the gym, although I did go back to re-watch a couple things to make sure I saw what I saw correctly. But obviously running 6 miles greatly affects one’s viewing of a television show.
- Matthew Fox is far too pretty for this role. I dislike when beautiful people are supposed to be normal people.
- Okay the first several minutes with the scene of the wreckage is pretty compelling stuff but that scene is also supremely weird. Some people seem to be freaking out beyond the necessary point (overacting?) and some are just kinda sitting around or walking around in a daze. Like oh yeah let’s just take a stroll through burning wreckage and moving engine parts. Great idea.
- I haven’t ever heard of this pretty couple before, the young one where the girl acts like a movie star. They must die pretty early.
- Evangeline Lilly is strange. I can’t tell if it’s a poorly written character or she’s just a terrible actor. But that scene where she first encounters Jack is just…odd. She doesn’t seem altogether there until it’s time to be scared about something.
- I’m not sure how I feel about the female characters. We have cute, nice Australian pregnant lady, verbally abused Asian lady, almost died black woman, bitchy blond snob and then nondescript female who will eventually play love interest. ZzZzzZ.
- So then we have standard, we’ve landed on a deserted island, let’s try to stay calm while we wait for help, get organized what-have-you scenes. And then FUCKING MONSTER SMASHING TREES AND TERRIFYING SHRIEKING. Okay. I get it. I totally get it. I have to find out what made that sound. By the way, did someone get an Emmy for that?
- Somewhere in there there’s some boring dialogue between Jack and Kate. I mean this might be interesting if you are busy painting your nails or something, but when you’re running, some of this dialogue just sticks out like a piece of shrapnel in your chest. The whole counting to five bit? And then she did it later? How long until they kiss? Four episodes? Five? That being said, there are some pretty snappy zingers. So it’s a wash in this regard. I see what The Boy means when he says he hates romance on a show.
- So like any smart person would do, we head into the forest to find some sort of device that may or may not save us. And then suddenly I think my video got switched up with the Tom Cruise version of War of the Worlds. Based on how that scene played out with the pilot, I would not have been shocked at all if those three legged things came down and grabbed one of them. However, I do like that they don’t give the audience in inch when it comes to actually cluing us into what’s happening out there.
- The second half of the pilot gets really juicy and rather than do a line by line analysis let me just give you running stream of consciousness. OH SHIT. POLAR BEAR. WTF. FRENCH VOICE FREAKY. MAY NEVER SLEEP AGAIN. KATE’S THE PRISONER?! I LOVE THIS SHOW.
