- None of my diagnosed-via-WebMD diseases and ailments have led to my demise
- My boyfriend doesn’t play video games when I’m around.
- My parents haven’t disowned me.
- My wonderfully patient friends still take my phone calls.
- I can still visit grandma in Florida regularly, and for under $200.
- Golden Girls reruns are still being aired.
- Hamburgers.
- My multiple trips outside of the country have yet to lead to an international incident.
- There is an alcoholic beverage for any occasion.
- The modern toilet.
- The interwebz. And all you wonderful people!
Archive for November, 2009
Things I Am Thank For
November 26th, 2009The Judgement of Paris: Mac & Cheese Edition
November 19th, 2009Someone on my Twitter feed (yes you’re allowed to punch me for saying that) recently asked for a reliable mac & cheese recipe so I passed on a very easy one from Smitten Kitchen that I’ve made many a time. Except it doesn’t use a bechamel sauce, which seems to be the backbone of most mac & cheese recipes. Maybe I was doing something wrong? Is bechamel really better than non-bechamel mac & cheese? I aimed to find outYES THIS IS AN IMPORTANT TOPIC SHUT UP.
The first step for good mac & cheese is freshly grated cheese. Sure you can buy that pre-shredded stuff but why would you do that? I guess if you don’t have a food processor because grating by hand sounds like a pain in the ass. But I assure you that Rule #1 for good mac & cheese is good cheese and good cheese does not, unfortunately, come pre-grated.
I like to use a mix of three parts sharp white cheddar to one part gruyere. I generally use about 2 pounds of cheese for one half pound of pasta. Yes, that’s pretty much an obscene amount of cheese, particularly since most recipes don’t call for that much, but you’ll need the extra since you’ll snack on little handfuls of the grated cheese throughout this process.
Isn’t that beautiful? In addition to the same cheese blend, I used the same spices in both recipes: about a teaspoon or so of mustard powder, a generous pinch of cayenne pepper, and salt and pepper. Every mac & cheese recipe on the planet calls for a pinch of grated nutmeg but I’ve never once included it because who the hell has nutmeg lying around? Although maybe that nutmeg is the key to elevating my mac & cheese to levels of AWESOME but I doubt it.
The non-bechamel recipe does not require pre-cooked pasta, which is nice, but it means longer time in the oven. You’ll need to create a sort of loser version of bechemel, which you do by blending cottage cheese and milk and the spices in a blender or food processor and then dumping the whole thing on top of the uncooked macaroni.
Then you add the cheese and mix it together and it looks like this sloppy mess.
This muck goes into the oven, covered for 30 minutes, then another 30 minutes uncovered. So that was pretty easy and there’s a lot of hands-off time, which I enjoy in any sort of recipe. Usually I use this time to have a couple glasses of wine but instead I made a second mac and cheese, this time with bechamel sauce.
Bechamel sounds all scary and french but once you remember the three important steps of bechamel you too can conquer this classic sauce and feel all sorts of badass. And yes there are only three steps and you would think they would be easy to remember but for the first couple of years of my cooking life I somehow always managed to screw up the order of the steps. First butter! Then milk! Then flour! Wait No Flour First! Then butter! Then wine? I always wondered why my sauces never thickened and I ended up with a soupy mess.
Bechamel Step #1: BUTTER. You melt the butter over low heat and I cannot stress the LOW HEAT part because my oven thinks medium is actually scalding, so don’t be overzealous. With these delicate sauces err on the side of cooler.
Bechamel Step #2: FLOUR. This is called a roux, where you add equal parts flour to melted butter. If you use 3 tablespoons butter you use 3 tablespoons flour. If you use 2 gallons of butter, you use 2 gallons of flour. You get the idea. It’ll start to create this lumpy muck and again LOW HEAT. If this burns you will taste burnt. You do, however, want this to cook a bit, for about a minute or so. Dude you just made roux! You rock. Top Chef, look out!
Bechamel Step #3: Milk. I like to add spices directly to the milk then add the milk to the pan. This is where you need to be patient. I always wonder why my bechamel doesn’t thicken in like two minutes when it always takes close to seven to ten minutes for it to actually thicken. Don’t worry, it’ll happen unless you’re the sort of idiot who somehow screwed up the steps.
This is slightly more watery than you want but you can see that it’s starting to thicken nicely. Once you’ve reached the correct thickness, which, incidentally, should be similar to S.O.S. gravy, then you add in the cheese.
It’ll melt pretty quickly and then you can dump it right on top of the noodles. Did I forget to mention you should’ve already cooked the noodles? Right don’t forget to do that BEFORE you make the bechamel sauce. I should write a cookbook!
This looks much much prettier than the non-bechamel version. So if you’re going to a do a blog post with step-by-step pictures, I suggest the bechamel version.
I suppose at this point you could crumble breadcrumbs or something over it but honestly why the hell would you do that? I want to know the person’s thought process when they decided to add bread crumbs to mac and cheese. “Hey everybody, let’s ruin a perfectly good dish by adding a flavorless carb-y topping!” Must be the same fool who thought everyone would want to eat chili on top of spaghetti noodles.
Since you’ve already cooked the noodles (you did remember to do that, right?), the bechamel version only goes into the oven for about 30 minutes.
I didn’t take any pictures once they came out of the oven since they looked exactly the same from the top. Let’s go on to the review!
Once we actually dug some mac & cheese out of the casseroles the difference was really apparent. The bechamel version, on the left, was creamy and beautiful and looked exactly like a nice mac and cheese. The non-bechamel, on the right, looked like a hot mess.
And which did we prefer? It’s going to sound crazy, but the sloppy hot mess. It retained the flavor of the sharp cheddar much better than the bechamel version, which, incidentally, tasted exactly like bechamel. There’s probably a way to play around with the proportions of bechamel sauce to cheese, or to even add flavor directly to the bechamel the way fancy places do, but I still maintain that the muck on the right tasted exactly like southern mac & cheese. It may not be pretty but it sure was awesome.
So in conclusion: I love mac & cheese. And I should really stop procrastinating on my perl final project, so I have to go now.
We Are Awful Awful People. Awful.
November 17th, 2009friend: how was it
me: awkward
me: and they didn’t serve alcohol
me: what kind of mourning is that
friend: yeah i want mine to be a celebration
friend: lots of grinding
friend: and then switch over to 80s music
friend: and you can wear black sequins to my funeral
me: YESSSS
me: if people didn’t get drunk at my funeral i wouldn’t even consider them my friends anymore
friend: shit if you died i’d drink a bottle of wine every night for the next month
me: see THAT’S a shiva
Things I Cannot Live Without.
November 11th, 2009I haven’t had an original thought in years. I often make jokes that sound very clever until I realize that I definitely read or heard it elsewhere, promptly forgot, and then re-remembered the joke at the opportune moment but without remembering that it wasn’t mine to begin with. I am fairly certain that I have told the same stories at least three time to all of my friends, coworkers, family members and total strangers.
The point of this is to say that I stole the entire concept for the rest of this blog post from Catherine at Outta Sight Outta Mind. Thanks Catherine!
When I actually sat down to formulate this list, I realized that there are quite a lot of things that I still actively spend money on yet I would not put them in this list. Part of this was a good exercise in learning that maybe I should live with less STUFF, but then another part of me realizes that the reason I can’t list anything is because while I absolutely need the product, I’m not married to a particular brand or label. For example: moisturizer. I need it, absolutely, but I haven’t found a brand that I think is worth plugging. And given my ability to influence the thousands of readers out there, I don’t think it’s fair to highlight one product over another.
iPhone – now I’ve only had this thing for three months but it is totally life changing. I cannot remember life pre-iPhone, and frankly, I don’t want to. So why is it so great? Since getting it, I have never forgotten an ingredient at the store. I no longer wander 10 city blocks lost and aimless while looking for an address. I don’t have to carry an iPod and a phone as separate entities. I have a way to get back at The Boy when he whips out his phone to check beer ratings at restaurants. Oh beautiful sweet wonderful comforting iPhone. Please, don’t ever leave or break or be stolen. I think my life would fall apart. (To be fair, pre-iPhone I would’ve said iPod. I’ve had some sort of mobile listening device attached to me since the age of 11 or 12 when my parents bought me a walkman.)
Kiehls Superbly Efficient Antiperspirant and Deodorant – This is pricey for deodorant but unlike drugstore brands it has the benefit of ACTUALLY WORKING. If you are prone to -ahem- moistness, I cannot recommend this deodorant enough. It has no smell, and also it works. IT ACTUALLY WORKS. I don’t even consider straying because IT ALWAYS WORKS. My mom also uses it, because of its working powers. Moms always know best.
Dior DiorShow Mascara – This is probably the world’s biggest makeup cliche but see above regarding the magical powers of Products That Actually Work. I always hear fairy tales about people who stray and find some cheaper, equally working product. Balderdash. I have yet to see a mascara with a brush that rivals the Dior mascara brush and a formula that doesn’t smear or flake off after 2 hours. I still get excited putting it on and I’ve been using it for years now.
Pizza Stone and Pizza Peel – You know how last year homemade pizza was all the craze and everyone went out and bought one of those $12 pizza stones? And then made pizza once and it was a disaster and pricey and a lot more work than just getting take-out? I am the exact opposite of that. I recently compared my pizza making tendencies to the way people make pasta when they need something fast and easy and delicious. Pizza is EASY. There is no way you should delegate that work to someone else.
Awesome Pair of Jeans – I used to buy Levi’s and Gap and American Eagle and whatever mall-brand jeans you can find. But once I bought – nay, invested – in my first pair of “designer” jeans, I knew I could never go back. High end jeans do not lose their shape, EVER. My weight has wavered 5-10 pounds in most of these jeans and they still fit me perfectly. They are comfortable. They retain their color/wash. I have a three year old pair that is only recently starting to show it’s wear and tear and it still looks great. Stop shopping at those horrible stores and go to Denim Bar and just find a pair that you love as soon as you put it on. It’ll change your life.
A fleece blanket – I have one for my bed, my couch and one at my desk at work. I’m always cold even when I’m hot and I like the comfort of being wrapped in a blanket. They are hideous, every single fleece blanket on the planet is a total eyesore. But I couldn’t live without them.
my neti pot – Without the neti pot I’d be a mouth breather. yeah, i threw that out there.
The Google suite – I use gmail and gchat literally every day, tasks for my to-do lists, calendar for my schedule, docs to write out blog posts and do collaborative schoolwork, notebook (and now wave) for trip planning, maps and web for, you know, and greader for entertainment. my life is in google. that’s a pretty terrifying thought.
My cameras and their related accessories – I’m not the world’s greatest photographer, I would barely qualify myself as a passable amateur. But I love going on trips and part of the fun for me is capturing the quirky and beautiful things I see. Obviously not to show off since no one ever cares about vacation photos. A while ago I realized there was nothing wrong with being self-indulgent and enjoying your own vacation snaps. Por ejemplo, I went to Ecuador for a month right after I graduated and I brought along one of those newfangled digital cameras. Sometime in between that trip and now, my computer crashed and lost every single one of those pictures and many others. I miss those photos. We had some really great ones too. In that vain I could not live without my…
External Hard drive. People, back your shit up. For reals. Avert disaster. The smart people at the Genius Bar can’t always save everything.
There’s probably more but then we’re getting into stuff like “refrigeration” and “air” so I’ll leave off for now. Maybe I’ll pull a Kelly Kapoor and do a “Things I’ve Bought That I Love” post in the future. Until then, ta ta!
Weekend Update
November 8th, 2009This blog is now primarily designed to keep Sanjay from being bored during his free time aka procrastination. We made a bet that if he went to the gym every other day for a week I would finish a project that I’ve been putting off for school. This is my way of avoiding the project, so that he’d have something to read during his own procrastination times. Look at how I take care of my friends! I’m like Mother Theresa.
Due to our schedules of late, The Boy and I spend most of our time together on the weekends and we tend to be really low-key together, preferring to stay inside and fall asleep by 11pm. On Friday we were in top form: we had a few drinks, made our standard dinner together – homemade pizza – and then went out for more drinks to check out the new upstairs bar at local favorite The Black Squirrel. It’s a really lovely space and I hope it’ll funnel off some of the insane crowds that can gather in the downstairs on weekends. But what am I talking about? The only time I go there is on weekdays to get their burger for dinner. Still, two thumbs up. Highly recommend. What was I saying? Oh, we fell asleep on the couch at 11pm.
The next day we picked up some Italian Store to bring to my parents, who are hosting my grandmother from California while my mom continues to recover from her hip replacement surgery. They appreciated the change from thai and chinese food takeout and we appreciated the excuse to go to the Italian Store even if I can’t tell the difference between any of the eight sandwiches they have on the menu. Seriously, we got one of everything and I still think they just make the same sandwich over and over again.
The evening was dedicated to a dear friend’s 30th birthday party, which of course meant all of us had way too much to drink. We started with a big group dinner at Brasserie Beck and lo they had the cassoulet as a special. Between that, the mussels, the bread and butter and the wine, I consumed so much I felt like a sausage stuffed into my tights. Oh and genius over there ordered us a salad to start, not realizing that just because it contained tomatoes that it was a tomato salad. Like, literally, slices of tomatoes topped with goat cheese and dressing and a crispy strip of ham. The two raw tomato haters suffered through that salad and honestly, it was pretty freakin awesome. We are slowly converting!
Then I had to break for a separate dear friend’s housewarming party, where I caught up with my C-ville crew for an hour or so. We made big plans for the winter, in particular they are determined to get me out for one of their many ski trips. Given that I’ve moved on from running it’s only natural to find my next obsession. I’ve already done the important part: researching ski wear.
Finally we made our way to Rock and Roll Hotel where the party boy rented a room. I had a bit of PBR and decided that the DJ was my most favoritest DJ of all time. Then we managed to stumble home at one point, where we once again both fell asleep on the couch. The difference was that The Boy had made a hot cup of tea beforehand and it was still on his hand when he fell asleep. I wonder how long we would’ve slept on the couch were it not for the boy spilling a still warm cup of tea all over himself and the couch. Luckily it was herbel and didn’t stain anything and my couch smells like a lovely fruity floral smell. I say this is win-win.
I spent the day with more homemade pizza and really really terrible TV. Just awful. Actually I watched that Queen Latifah movie, Last Holiday, and is it wrong to admit I thought it was pretty cute? I love movies that justify living without restraints, particularly those of the self-imposed kind (related: if you do too, you totally need to go see Up). In that vain, I’m thinking skydiving. Before I totally lose my nerve. Who’s with me?
The Most Terrifying House On the Market
November 5th, 2009Last Sunday I met a very nice dude named John who also lives in Adams Morgan just like me, and we discussed the unspoken (or perhaps, more accurately, the commonly known) rule that you Do Not Walk on Euclid. There is really no reason to ever walk on Euclid street, unless you live there, so why in god’s name would you live there?
So shortly thereafter he sent me this listing for a home on Euclid and 17th St”. Now if you take a look at this house in the listing, it’s a gorgeous, well-appointed home. Clearly recently renovated, it has the wood flooring and remodeled kitchen that are required if you intend to sell a home for any sort of profit in this city.
There is one big problem with this house, and that is the address. I commonly refer to Euclid and 17th as “The Scary Corner”, given all the press it’s received for muggings, drug deals and one guy who got shot there about a year ago. That’s all well and good, I mean it’s still a transitioning neighborhood and all, but the address should be the least of your concerns.
Because if you look closely at the listing you’ll notice that this condo’s asking price is $425k and it’s being sold “as is”. AS IS. That should send any sane person screaming and running in terror. Isn’t “As Is” code word for “it’s infested with both mice AND cockroaches. and there’s no ceiling.”? My god forget the address, save yourself now from a condo that is clearly made entirely of asbestos. Based on my perusal of listing sites, the DC housing market is just like Paranormal Activity, but without a camera set up to film every single shocking moment.
I Am Alive and Not Imprisoned.
November 4th, 2009A friend the other day said to me “So I guess you’re done with blogging?” NO! I am NOT done with blogging! See here, this is me blogging. Blog blog blog blog blog.
I’m slowly realizing no one gives a flying toot about my opinions, so posting links and discussing them at length with my varying levels of life wisdom obtained through my long 26 years here on this earth is out of the question. So maybe I should just use this space to tell you about my super exciting awesome life!
Well, okay, once all my vacations were over, once I finished running the ten miler, once the summer school class of hell finished, I gotta tell you: I got nothing. So allow me to bullet point the magical and mysterious life of Arlene, post Summer of Arlene.
- I’ve been making far too many smart ass comments on greader.
- Every Wednesday I meet up with a fine group of $4 wine aficionados like myself and we “watch” Top Chef; usually this devolves into loud drunken conversation about 35 minutes in and no one can hear anything. I watch it again (for the first time) the next day.
- I’ve been stocking up on canned pumpkin for….what exactly? I have no idea. I have approximately two recipes saved for a pumpkin dish so at this point these cans of pumpkins are for the coming apocalypse.
- The Boy’s birthday is coming up and since I know he doesn’t read this I could probably tell you straight out what I got him. But I’ll err on the side of caution. Actually his real gift is something he already knows about: tickets to San Francisco for a beer-filled weekend. I’m probably more excited than him, given that I have literally nothing else on the horizon except counting down to my next martini – which, by the by, is always a mystery. No one ever wants to go for cocktails!
- I made pan roasted duck breast on Halloween. I was going to roast or braise the whole thing until I realized that I had none of the utensils or cookware for either of those iterations. Instead cut off the breasts and pan roasted them and then made a gravy and it was still cheaper than any other time I’ve had duck breast in a restaurant. So I’m counting this as a WIN.
- One of my BFFs is living in London while he tries to find a job. There is nothing I’d like better than to fly out there for a week and sit around drinking stouts with him. This isn’t anything going on in life but I want it to be. Sigh.
- The Hamster remains alive and well and just the most perfect pet ever. In fact, I think we confirmed I shouldn’t keep a cat when I accidentally washed my tv remote when I did the laundry the other day. How does that even happen? If I don’t see that (it was a really small load of laundry) then I think a living creature could probably escape my notice and basically ruin my life by committing unintentional suicide in the washing machine.
- The other night I met Mike Isabella of Top Chef fame with a couple of drinks in me and I haven’t yet decided if this incident is more or less embarrassing than the time I talked about adding a third boob in front of Kate Bosworth. Or the time I accosted David Blaine. I think I should stay away from all celebrities.
- This class on Perl programming is kicking my ass. The less said about school, the better.
- I took my other BFF to Momfuku Ssam (making that three total trips) and I don’t know what I liked more, the Aviation or the brussel sprouts. I’m totally getting that book by the end of 2009.
See what you’ve reduced me to. I’m listing cookbooks that I want. Why did you even ask!? I promise I’ll have good stories to tell soon, once I start being a little more observant and stop playing Party in the USA on repeat on my walk to and from work every day.
