Part of the fun in shopping at farmers markets is coming home with treasures only available during certain times of the year. Since it’s a well-known fact that tomatoes from the grocery store suck, it occurred to me that when they rolled around this year it was my duty to really throw myself into tomatoes while they lasted. This goal was complicated by the fact that I despise tomatoes, particularly the sliced tomatoes stuffed into sandwiches. Just terrible. Why would you want that soggy mess to soil a perfectly good sandwich?
So when I finally made it down to the Dupont Farmers market one glorious Sunday morning, I somehow found myself walking home with something like $15 worth of tomatoes. Those farmers know how to sell. Such pretty fruits in such quaint little baskets! I just throw it all in a bag and then next thing I know I have upwards of 10 pounds of fresh produce in my fridge. I live alone.
The tomatoes had to be used and be enjoyed by someone who hates raw tomatoes and thus began the Great Tomato Challenge.
One of my most favorite tomato recipes comes from the Smitten Kitchen, who, let’s face it, informs about 78% of all my cooking. Last summer she suggested slow roasting cherry or grape tomatoes in an oven at low temp and promised the results would come out tasting like candy. To me, likening tomatoes to candy would be like shit to gold but this is one of those moments where you put in some coal and out pops a diamond.
Look, it’s oven magic!
Slow-cooked on low temps, tomatoes seem to take on this wonderful caramelized flavor, not unlike caramelized onion but with stronger acidity. These little bites can be added to almost anything you can think of. Last time I made them I topped super elaborate Italian subs with them, this time I put them on the top of a lasagna. If you want to like mozz, tomato, basil salad, but hate raw tomatoes, substitute roma tomatoes for the smaller varieties in this recipe and then use the roasted tomatoes instead.
Like any good tomato hater, I know the best way to enjoy tomatoes is post heat application. I’d already had good success throwing raw tomatoes in a galette and on homemade pizza, so let’s try another baked option: PIE.
Making tomato pie was a lesson in making pie dough. I don’t actually like pie and therefore never bothered to learn the technique of making pie dough. I mean the instructions are practically the exact same for the galette, how hard could it be famous last words?
There are two reasons these pictures are very big on the bokei. Number one, I was using my 50mm lens which doesn’t autofocus. Number two, the pie dough cooked through looked terrible. I mean just awful. I didn’t have a traditional pie pan so I used some sort of round baking dish that wasn’t quite right. I mean that’s a great excuse but the actual reason is that I just kinda slapped it all on there and shoved it in the oven. No technique whatsoever and the result came out looking like it. I mean it was sad. SAD. Julia Child rolled over in her grave.
It looks delicious and gooey but it just kinda tasted like a cafeteria side dish. Not a lot of depth of flavor and the mayo in the cheese goo just made it sort of oily tasting. Even worse, I had it for leftovers the next day and it was plain gross. Oily and gross. I feel like I could improve on this, except that would mean making more pie dough and we all know that’s not going to happen. At least until I buy a proper pie plate. (Recipe from Simply Recipes, who I’m sure is a lovely person but I just didn’t like this one.
Finally it’s time to move on to what I consider one of my “gateway” tomato dishes. One of them is actually a really well made bruschetta, which few have managed to pull off. But pico de gallo is what makes me want to like raw tomatoes because I do really like pico de gallo.
This is such cheating. Pico de gallo has to be one of the easiest things in the world to make that tastes just fantastic every time. This doesn’t even count as a recipe, really. The fun in pico de gallo is seeing what you can do with it.
You can throw it into some mashed avocados and make guacamole.
Or throw it on top of some homemade shredded beef tacos. The Boy is still talking about this one. (Beef spice mix adapted from DC Foodies)
The key here is to mask the raw tomatoes with other, stronger flavors. When I still had some leftover, I threw them in with some corn, peppers, red onion, cilantro, lime juice and a couple of spices for another salsa. Which I then promptly put on top of nachos with some leftover taco beef.
I really think that’s the key an awesome dinner.
No, not disguising tomatoes. Nachos. Nachos are the key to an awesome dinner.
Oh look here’s a picture of my hamster:
How’d that get in there? Get out of there.
In conclusion, tomatoes have a certain charm and I may be learning to like them although I’ll still pick them off my salads and sandwiches. They have great acidity and umami, both of which balance nicely with lots of my other favorite flavors. If you don’t like tomatoes, try to mask them with stronger flavors or using them in dishes that will cook them. And my pie dough sucks. The end.
Wasn’t that amazing? I should become an investigative reporter. Next up: exploring alternative body healing methods, like Reiki and accupuncture. I’m excited. Stay tuned for more of my compelling narrative.
