I’m (sort of) taking the summer off. I have one class and it’s online, second session, so no more trekking off to class and then sitting through class and then commuting home and all that nonsense. Only learning! Online is the future of school. Why don’t we do this more often?

Since I’ll finally have entire weeks of free evenings, I’m declaring this the Summer of Arlene!!! I have really big plans this summer. BIG PLANS!

• Food! Of course, my favorite thing:
  • Cooking classes! I signed up for two at the local cooking school, hopefully they are fun and then I’ll sign up for more. I’m doing really specific cultural cuisines since those are the ones that scare me the most.
  • Fried chicken, the real shit. I may even get really crazy and buy a whole chicken and carve it myself. I have the lard, I have the cast iron skillet. I have the fire extinguisher. This is going to be AWESOME.
  • Homemade yogurt. Everyone says it’s way easy, right? Am I right?
  • Canning. Specifically, tomatoes. I already make my own ice cream (and it was pretty damn good, if I do say so myself), there is no reason why I can’t stuff some things in some jars and save them through the winter. Right? Am I right?
• Fun physical getting in shape stuff!
  • Ballet class! I adore ballet and secretly I still believe that I, on the cusp of 26, still have time to become a prima ballerina. No, really. I truly do believe that.
  • Bikram yoga! I have no idea why, but doing yoga in a boiling room somehow just really really appeals to me. It probably relates to the same insanity gene that wants me to can my own vegetables.
  • Ten miler training! I ran my 10k today and did pretty solid but I want to become much much faster. And better. And more awesome. If that’s even possible.
  • Get The Boy into running! He’s almost there. I can feel it.
• Travel! Of course, isn’t it always about travel with me:
  • Germany! I’m going for ten days with my German buddy Marc, who will do all the translating while I make myself useful by drinking enough beer and eating enough wurst to cause a burst appendix.
  • Tampa! Okay, not really an exciting locale but it’s time for my bi-yearly trip to visit Grandma. My job is forcing (no really, FORCING) us to take vacation so I figured this would be a good way to spend quality time with her. I could’ve gone to the Turks & Caicos again but this is what I do for love and family. Awwww.
  • Mystery location! Mostly a mystery because it’s still a mystery to me, but I’ll still have some forced vacation over Labor Day so we have a few ideas swimming around in our noggins.
  • Weekend Trips! Charlottesville for a wedding, where I’m very excited to show The Boy my secret love of the college town. And hopefully Philly and NYC. Maybe Maine.
• Housekeeping!
• Nesting! It’s not as exciting but I want to make a few changes to the ole apartment, maybe get some sort of bed headboard, install some mirrors, few things here and there.
• Web stuff! If the summer ends and this site is still using that awful default Wordpress template then I better at least have an 8:30 pace and 30 bushels of canned tomatoes to show for it. That’s all I have to say.
• Bike! Figure out what to do about its size. Start actually using it, maybe.

My summer calendar is ridiculous right now. When I talk about plans with people, we are talking about stuff in mid-July and August at this point. I’m a little exhausted thinking about it but mostly I am sooooo excited to get started I can barely concentrate on the fact that I still have a final exam tomorrow. Oh that thing? PFft.  It’s the Summer of Arlene!!!

I just got out of my final set of classes for the semester, which naturally culminated with a presentation of our final papers.

What happened tonight was easily the saddest presentation the 14 people in that room ever experienced, with yours truly at the center of the circus.  Not only did I go completely dumb when I got up on stage, I distracted myself with my own stupidity. It was as though my brain literally left my body, and not only left but decided to perform the Charleston right in front of me as I tried to describe query formulation.  And the worst part -  this is always, always, inevitably the worst part – is that I could actually feel people feeling sorry for me, you know what I mean? Like the empathy was so physically palpable, they might as well have written me notes telling me “It’ll be okay!” and then thrown them at me like a dodgeball competition.  Even with the nice comments and questions, I still wanted to slink from the room and drown my sorrows in…well, just drown.

Thank god it’s all over.

Obviously I should be working on my paper but I just had to report that today I had another appointment with that doctor I may have mentioned a few times, the ridiculously attractive one who’s secretly in love with me.

I’ve pretty much gotten over his amazing beauty but this time I was distracted by how disarmingly polite and professional he is. And now it’s not just him. He has a physician’s assistant now, a female who is equally polite and professional. The whole lot of them are so god damned charming and they look you straight in the eye when they talk to you without being weird about it and jesus just be normal people with real problems, ones who actually fart and procrastinate too long on their papers.  Being in that office is like walking right into a stock photo used for prescription drug ads, where everyone has huge smiles and their pants are perfectly tailored. GAHHHHHHHH.

In case you hadn’t noticed, May started shockingly almost a week ago now, which means that I’ll talk to you in July. No, really. Here is what I have going on, in order, for the rest of my life:

• This weekend: final paper. That would definitely be enough but let’s throw in bridal shower luncheon and bachelorette party later that evening.  And getting gifts and outfit for both of those. And then Mother’s Day on Sunday.  WEEEEE
• Next week: Jury Duty.  Presenting said paper.  Weekend: My first 10k race.
• Following: doctor’s and beauty appointments  on a rare Friday off.  Wedding rehearsal dinner and then actual wedding.  Then Sunday going up to Philly to take advantage of the long weekend.
• Then: Birreria Paradiso beer dinner right before leaving for Wedding in Charlottesville. Touristing and beer-drinking in C-ville among attempting to continue my streak as crappy bridesmaid who never knows what she’s doing or what’s going on.
• Then: Two weeks in Germany.  For which I have currently planned NOTHING. So throw that up in the mix above.
• Return in time to hit the bad side of 25. Celebrate (mourn) in some fashion.  Another weekend to recover, then:
• Five days in Tampa to hang with Grandma over the July 4th weekend. Return in time to celebrate Dad’s birthday.

I’m tired already. Off to go stock some speed and caffeine pills.